diff --git a/app/src/androidTest/kotlin/io/flamenet/messenger/app/LiveSignUpFleetTest.kt b/app/src/androidTest/kotlin/io/flamenet/messenger/app/LiveSignUpFleetTest.kt
index 14b951a..6f9ff7d 100644
--- a/app/src/androidTest/kotlin/io/flamenet/messenger/app/LiveSignUpFleetTest.kt
+++ b/app/src/androidTest/kotlin/io/flamenet/messenger/app/LiveSignUpFleetTest.kt
@@ -92,15 +92,28 @@ class LiveSignUpFleetTest {
         signOutIfSignedIn()
     }
 
+    /**
+     * 🔴 `assumeTrue`, never a bare `return`.
+     *
+     * A bare return leaves the test reporting PASSED having done nothing, and
+     * a suite of those is indistinguishable from a suite that works — which is
+     * the whole reason to run it. Assumed-out shows as skipped, so the count
+     * tells the truth about what was actually exercised.
+     */
+    private fun requireLiveOptIn() =
+        assumeTrue(
+            "pass -e live true to run these — they create real accounts on accounts.flamenet.io",
+            args.getString("live") == "true")
+
     @Test
     fun signUpOnTheManagedRelay() {
-        assumeTrue("pass -e live true to run this - it creates real accounts", args.getString("live") == "true")
+        requireLiveOptIn()
         signUpLive(managed, "m")
     }
 
     @Test
     fun signUpOnASharedSelfHostedRelay() {
-        assumeTrue("pass -e live true to run this - it creates real accounts", args.getString("live") == "true")
+        requireLiveOptIn()
         signUpLive(sharedSelfHosted, "s")
     }